A mum has admitted she doesn’t want to leave her 10-month-old daughter alone with her mother-in-law after she’s repeatedly tried to pierce her ears
Many parents rely on family members, including their own parents, to help out with child care to enable them to go back to work and just provide general support.
But one mum has vowed not to rely her own mother-in-law for childcare support, even going as promising to never leave her daughter alone with her.
The 31-year-old mum had always gotten along with her husband J’s mum, however they recently butted heads after she asked when they would be getting their 10-month-old daughter C’s ears pierced.
The mum told her mother-in-law that C would not be getting her ears pierced until she’s old enough to ask to have them done herself, and in response, was told that she’s a “hypocrite” considering she has several piercings herself.
“My own mother wouldn’t let me even get my earlobes pierced until I was 10, but my mother-in-law had both had both my sister-in-laws’ ears pierced when they were tiny, and she keeps going on about how ‘it’s better because they won’t remember it’,” the mum wrote on Reddit’s AITA forum.
“J says he supports whatever decision I make on the matter because I’m the one who would have to clean it, as I stay home with C while he works full time.”
The mum thought the issue had been put to bed, until a few weeks ago, when her mother-in-law was taking care of C for them as they were going to a funeral.
“As I was coming down the stairs I hear my mother-in-law talking to C about how ‘they’re going to go out shopping and get her some pretty earrings.’ I went into the room and told her in no uncertain terms that that would not be happening, and if I can’t trust her to respect my decisions about my own daughter I would find someone else to look after her,” she continued, adding that she ended up getting her sister to babysit.
“Now my mother-in-law keeps trying to arrange to have her for a few hours, she even tried to offer to have her overnight so J and I can go out, but I refused. I told her she could come and visit her, but I no longer trusted her not to get her ears pierced behind my back, so she would be seeing her unsupervised.”
The mum said that both her husband and her sister-in-law think she’s overreacting, prompting her to turn to Reddit to question whether others thought her reaction was justified.
“She definitely intends to get her ears pierced. I’m of the opinion that it’s unfair to put a baby through unnecessary pain, as they can’t understand it. Vaccines serve a purpose and are justified, but earrings don’t. Your daughter will grow up just fine without them and can ask for them when she’s ready,” one Reddit user commented.
“The bigger concern is your mother-in-law not respecting your authority as the mother. Please don’t allow her unsupervised visits with your daughter as she doesn’t seem trustworthy.”
Another agreed: “Of course her children think you’re overreacting; they were raised by this human bulldozer and don’t know any better. Their opinions on boundaries can’t be trusted.
“Also, the idea that your husband defers to you because you would be solely responsible for the care and cleaning just because you stay home? Like… is he incapable of holding a Q-tip between the hours of 6 and 8pm? She is his daughter, too, and he absolutely has a vested interest in whether his mother goes behind both of your backs to do this.”